Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish I only lived at night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
