You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize