I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
