I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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