also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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