Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
