it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
