Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
