she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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