so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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