you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
