You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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