Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
