Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
