Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
