remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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