what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
