We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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