just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
