this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Randomize
