I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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