she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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