i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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