Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
