we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
