His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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