That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
my liver is dry heaving
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
