Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
