Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
