I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
