I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
zippers are such a cool invention
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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