Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
