I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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