we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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