that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize