Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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