girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
worst night to have a conscience
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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