Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
