i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
