But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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