dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
