If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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