I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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