in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
