I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
