I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
