if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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