after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
