I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
