Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
