She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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