Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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