i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize