I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
