the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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