Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
