I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
