All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
17 year olds will be the death of me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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