Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
