I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
