never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
