So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
