Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
