Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
