There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize