I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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