READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
