I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize