found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
