I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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