What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
