yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
