I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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