All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize